Memoirs of a Crafter

There will be no crafting today. Today I want to say thank you. Thank you to all the women who boldly share their lives with me through their blogs. I am amazed at their honesty. I began this blogging experience reluctantly and skeptically. I would laugh at people who spent the time it takes to be a “blogger”. Slowly, however, I began to be sucked into this underground subculture. I told myself the only reason I would spend hours looking at crafting blogs were for the crafts. I soon realized that I enjoyed reading about the lives of others.

This will not come as a shock for those of you who know me, but I am not a very “open” person. I find it extremely hard to open up to others. Sure I can tell you a funny story every now and then but there are very few people who really know anything about me. This is something I struggle with. For some reason, I have always felt the need to protect not only myself but the people around me from my true thoughts and feelings. I have lived for two decades with the idea that I needed to put on my “everything is fine” face. As you all know…everything is not always fine. I struggle with this daily; however, Sundays are the hardest. My husband and I are involved with an amazing small group who love and welcome us. This group of people accepted us with no judgment which has been so refreshing. The women in this group are wonderful. They are constantly sharing their joys and struggles with me and I have nothing to give back. I simply sit and listen. If I am honest with myself I know that I don’t trust them. I don’t trust that they won’t criticize and gossip about me. I am a coward. I am typing this and my hands are shaking for fear of someone reading this and judging me.

And this is why I thank all of you bloggers out there. Some of you I know and some of you live across the country! You fearlessly share your crafts, recipes, homes, and families. You share your victories and heartaches, your triumphs and pains. I have read your blogs and been encouraged. I am beginning to understand that it is okay to share my life with others. This is, after all, the example that Christ gave us, right? I am working on developing true and honest friendships with the people in my life. It is a daily struggle. I now understand why people blog. It is an outlet. There is something so comforting about expressing myself through words. I don’t know if anybody will read this or ever even look at this little blog that I have begun, but the words have been typed. The feelings of inadequacy and fear are out in “cyber space” and I can sleep better knowing that I’ve released some of it. If you do read this, I am sorry. It is not crafty, funny, or even interesting but sometimes (many times) life is not crafty, funny or interesting. I am beginning to realize with each day that passes, life is what you make of it and people (some who you don’t even know) can bless and encourage you!